Framework

Series Overview

Shouting matches, stomping out of a room, insults under the breath, and even a few curse words will become more and more commonplace in the homes of our students over the next few years. What happened to the sweet children that used to hug their mom and dad as soon as they walked in the door?  Meanwhile, students are also wondering why things have changed: “Why are my parents so annoying all of a sudden? Why do they ask so many questions? Why don’t they trust me?” The truth is that part of a student growing up requires this challenging time in the relationship with their parents. It seems like the easy child/parent relationship that we all took for granted is gone. However, it can be good, again. We can get closer to that “picture perfect” ideal we all have for our home life. It simply requires both sides understanding it takes a little work.  So, for the next 2 weeks, we’ll be talking about our student/parent relationship in a series called “Framework.”

Week 1 (September 2, 2012)

Every student wants independence. It is part of growing up, but it can also be a struggle. As a parent you have a front row seat in watching this happen.  Our students want to be treated like adults, and they want independence.  Believe it or not, we want to help our students gain more independence, and I bet you will agree with us.  We want our students to know that to get more freedom and independence they only have to do one thing, honor their father and mother.  This may not be a new idea, but it is a huge idea that we want every student to grasp.  Honoring your father and mother is a key part of the Christian life, and it is one of the few commandments that comes with a promise.  At Transit, we want to partner with you the parent to not only help build the faith of your student, but also to help create a healthy family, and that begins with honoring your father and mother.

Talk to your student about your own experience with your parents. Ask your student how they would define the word honor.

Week 2 (September 9, 2012)

Every relationship is going to experience conflict at one point or another.  Whether it is between friends, siblings, or parents and children, conflict is unavoidable.  We want our students to know that conflict is a part of life, and it is something that is not easy to deal with. However, how we deal with conflict says a lot about who we are.  Students have a tendency to deal with conflict in two ways: avoidance or full on confrontation.  While you may have experiences a screaming argument or two, pretending conflict doesn’t exist can be just as bad as an all out fight.  We want our students to know that dealing with conflict is a part of life, and that in any conflict we have to be willing to own our part.  Whether we like it or not, we are never blame free. We always have some role in a conflict, and it is up to us to own it.   We need to be willing to apologize and ask for forgiveness even if 99% of the problem is because of the other person.  We are still responsible for 1% and we need to take responsibility for it.  We cannot control the response of the other person, but we can control our own response so we need to take responsibility for our own actions.

Ask your student why it is important that we learn to own our part of an argument.

New Friend Request

Series Overview

We all want friends—even if we don’t want to admit it. We all want someone to hang out with, someone to talk to, someone who knows us. But friendship requires something from us. It’s not just what we get or what makes us feel comfortable or happy. There’s a smart way to do friendship, a way with intention, a way that will draw us closer to God’s heart—if we surround ourselves with the right people. That doesn’t mean our friends have to be clones of us—but it does mean that they at least help us move in the right direction.

Session One: Accept? (October 30, 2011) 

Having friends is great. Whether you want one, or you already have one, there’s just something about having other people in your life who you can count on. For many, friendships just happen. A new friend is in the right place at the right time. And while friendships may start out randomly, there is an intentionality about who we allow close to us—and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Because the people who are closest to you have influence on your life. They help shape who you are. So who are the friends closest to you . . . and how are they influencing you?

Session One Parent Cue: Who are some of your closest friends? Why are these people so important to you?

Session Two: Respond? (November 6, 2011)

Someone to listen to my problems. Someone to do stuff with. Someone to talk to constantly. Someone to hang out with. When you make a list of what qualities you want in a friend, how many of the things on your list involve what that person can do for you? Most of us would have to admit that it’s a lot. But the best friendships are ones that are not just about what the other person can do for you—the best friendships also involve how you can be there for someone else. How you can listen, instead of always talking. How you can give someone space when he or she needs it, or just hang out when your friend needs that too. In other words, the best friendships are not centered solely on you—and that’s a good thing.

Session Two Parent Cue: What are some ways you’ve been able to help out your friends?

Session Three: Ignore? (November 13, 2011)

Relationships=conflict. It’s natural. It’s part of two people relating to one another because at some point, you’re not going to agree. One person will do something the other person doesn’t like. One person will let the other person down. One person will say or do something stupid. It happens. And at some point, it happens to us—either we’re the person making the mess, or the one who is feeling the effects of the mess. So how do you navigate your way through the drama? Do you just ignore it and hope it goes away? Do you just drop that friend? Or do you find a way to work it out? The choice is yours.

Session Three Parent Cue: What is the biggest fight you’ve ever had with a friend? What was the outcome?