The New Rules for Love, Sex, & Dating: If I Were You

6 05 2012

Session 4 (May 6, 2012)

Are you who the person you are looking for is looking for?  This is an important question that has formed the foundation of our discussion over the past four weeks.  In the final week of The New Rules for Love, Sex, & Dating, we want to give our students some tangible actions.  We want to give them some things that they can be working on right now.  We want our students to start making wise choices in the area of the relationships now, so that they will have great relationships and marriages later.  Making wise choices now is important because the path taken is more important than any promise or commitment that is made.  Our students must understand that past actions are a better indicator of future behavior than a promise. Promises can be, and often are, broken.  Our students have the opportunity to start making decisions now that will not only benefit them now, but throughout their entire life. You don’t become the right person overnight. It takes work, and it takes a commitment to setting boundaries now.

Talk to your student how past actions are a better indicator of the future than a promise. Ask your student why it is important to set boundaries ahead of time. Ask your student how they can start becoming the right person now.


The New Rules for Love, Sex, & Dating: Gentlemen’s Club

22 04 2012

Session 2 (April 22, 2012)

Act like a man. This is a familiar phrase in our society. Maybe you have even said it to your own son. Our culture wants men who are strong, and men who show little emotion. Men who are tough and dominant. But is this what being a man is all about?  This week we want to our students, particularly the guys, to begin to understand what acting like a man really looks like.  Real men value women, and treat them with dignity, honor, and respect. Real men are servants. These ideas are not common, especially in a culture where women are treated as a commodity, as something that can be used and discarded. We want to challenge all of our male students to take the lessons of 1 Peter 3:7 to heart and “man up” by treating all women with respect.

Just as we want to challenge our guys to start acting like men, we want to encourage all of our girls that they are special and that they have real value. We want our girls to understand that they should have expectations of any guy that they have a relationship with. They need to hold guys to a high standard because they are worth it.  We want all of our girls to understand the immense value that they have in the eyes of their Creator. They are precious to God. We want this realization to permeate through all of their relationships. We want our girls to not only see the value that they have, but see the value that all women have in the eyes of God.

Talk to your student about what they think culture says about the role of women in society. Ask your son how he would want his future wife to be treated by other men right now. Ask your daughter how she would want her future husband to be treating other women right now. 

The New Rules for Love, Sex, & Dating: The Right Person Myth

15 04 2012

Session 1 (April 15, 2012)

Dates. Dances. Boyfriends. Girlfriends.  As a parent you are probably familiar with these ideas from your own past, but now you get to experience them from a whole new perspective with your student.  Students are beginning to enter into these worlds for the first time as they move through middle school and high school. For many students, their relationship is their identity.  They begin to believe the myth, that might continue for their entire life, that if they just start dating the right person then everything will be great.  Our lives can become defined by our relationship. The funny thing about this is that we spend so much time focusing on the other person that we forget about the other half of the relationship, ourselves. We will talk about what to look for in another person next week, but this week we want our students to realize that they can take control of their future now.  We want our students to stop looking for Mr. or Ms. Right and start becoming the right person themselves.

We want our students to embrace the qualities found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 in all of their relationships. Whether it is with the friends, siblings, or you, we want our students to start putting these principles into practice, and their is no better example than you. We want to challenge our parents to embrace the qualities of 1 Corinthians 13 in your own life. We want to set our students up for a life of great relationships and ultimate great marriage, and it starts now.

Talk to your student about the quality in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 that is the most difficult for you.  Ask your student if they would want their future (or current) significant other to embrace these qualities, and if that means they should start embracing them too.