Just Like the Movies

Session 1 (May 13, 2012)

We have all seen a great movie, read a good book, or been to a fantastic restaurant.  While you may have just stumbled upon this experience by accident, I would be willing to bet that you were sent or told about that experience by a trusted friend.  Whenever we experience something great, we want our friends to experience it as well. That is why the most effective advertisement for a movie or book isn’t a trailer or blurb or critic review, but it is word of mouth from a friend. This isn’t news to you or your student, but this principle it important. We want our students to realize that they have influence over their friends. Their friends trust them, and trust their recommendations.  This level of trust is why the Bible teaches us that we need to be good stewards in our relationships. God has placed us in many relationships for a specific purpose, and while it could be to make sure our friends see good movies, I believe that it might be a little more than that.  God has placed us and your student in relationships to be his representative.  This is a huge idea, and a great responsibility. We want our students to realize that they have been entrusted by God with their relationships, and this realizations should change how we interact with our friends.

Talk to your student about a relationship in your life that you feel was placed by God.  Ask your student if they feel like God has placed any person in their life for a specific purpose.

Session 2 (May 20, 2012)

Last week, we began by showing our students the amount of influence that they have over their friends. As we conclude our two week series, we want to help our students to understand how they should use that influence.  The Bible uses many analogies to help make its point, and this week is no different. We are going to look at a famous passage with a simple idea: the word of God needs to be sowed everywhere.  While farming references can be difficult to grasp for our students, this principle is simple.  A seed cannot grow unless it is planted (or sown), and our job as Christians is to being planting the seed of the word of God in our friends.  We do not want our students to think that it is their job to make someone a Christian, that is a job only for God.  We want them to realize that their job is to point people towards God and His word.  Just like referring a friend to a great movie, we want to point our friends towards a great relationship with their heavenly father.

Talk to your student about a person who was influential in your spiritual growth. Ask your student why it is only their responsibility to spread the word of God and not make someone a Christian.

The New Rules for Love, Sex, & Dating: If I Were You

Session 4 (May 6, 2012)

Are you who the person you are looking for is looking for?  This is an important question that has formed the foundation of our discussion over the past four weeks.  In the final week of The New Rules for Love, Sex, & Dating, we want to give our students some tangible actions.  We want to give them some things that they can be working on right now.  We want our students to start making wise choices in the area of the relationships now, so that they will have great relationships and marriages later.  Making wise choices now is important because the path taken is more important than any promise or commitment that is made.  Our students must understand that past actions are a better indicator of future behavior than a promise. Promises can be, and often are, broken.  Our students have the opportunity to start making decisions now that will not only benefit them now, but throughout their entire life. You don’t become the right person overnight. It takes work, and it takes a commitment to setting boundaries now.

Talk to your student how past actions are a better indicator of the future than a promise. Ask your student why it is important to set boundaries ahead of time. Ask your student how they can start becoming the right person now.

The New Rules for Love, Sex, & Dating: Designer Sex

Session 3 (April 29, 2012)

God likes sex. I bet that isn’t a phrase that you hear very often.  Sex and the church don’t often mix. In fact, most people would say that the only thing the church has to say about sex is a resounding NO.  This just isn’t the case. Sex was created by God for us. However, sex has been corrupted into a merely physical act. Our students are bombarded every day with the myth that sex is only physical. Sex is not a big deal. We want our students to realize that sex is a big deal, and that sexual sin can have lifelong effects.  Sex is much more than a physical act. Sex has been designed and created by God to be so much more. We want our students to experience the true intimacy that sex was designed for. Our students need to realize that making a sacrifice now for something better later is an investment. Honoring your body as a teenager and protecting yourself from sexual sin now, will lead to greater intimacy later.  We want our students to grab hold of the principal that purity now will leader to greater intimacy later. This isn’t about saying sex is bad. This is about communicating to our students that sex can be great as long as you make the right choices along the way and choose to honor God with your body.

Talk to your student about how culture portrays the need for physical things between guys and girls. Ask your student if they believe sex is more than just a physical act. Talk to your student about honoring your body now can lead to greater intimacy later.

The New Rules for Love, Sex, & Dating: Gentlemen’s Club

Session 2 (April 22, 2012)

Act like a man. This is a familiar phrase in our society. Maybe you have even said it to your own son. Our culture wants men who are strong, and men who show little emotion. Men who are tough and dominant. But is this what being a man is all about?  This week we want to our students, particularly the guys, to begin to understand what acting like a man really looks like.  Real men value women, and treat them with dignity, honor, and respect. Real men are servants. These ideas are not common, especially in a culture where women are treated as a commodity, as something that can be used and discarded. We want to challenge all of our male students to take the lessons of 1 Peter 3:7 to heart and “man up” by treating all women with respect.

Just as we want to challenge our guys to start acting like men, we want to encourage all of our girls that they are special and that they have real value. We want our girls to understand that they should have expectations of any guy that they have a relationship with. They need to hold guys to a high standard because they are worth it.  We want all of our girls to understand the immense value that they have in the eyes of their Creator. They are precious to God. We want this realization to permeate through all of their relationships. We want our girls to not only see the value that they have, but see the value that all women have in the eyes of God.

Talk to your student about what they think culture says about the role of women in society. Ask your son how he would want his future wife to be treated by other men right now. Ask your daughter how she would want her future husband to be treating other women right now. 

The New Rules for Love, Sex, & Dating: The Right Person Myth

Session 1 (April 15, 2012)

Dates. Dances. Boyfriends. Girlfriends.  As a parent you are probably familiar with these ideas from your own past, but now you get to experience them from a whole new perspective with your student.  Students are beginning to enter into these worlds for the first time as they move through middle school and high school. For many students, their relationship is their identity.  They begin to believe the myth, that might continue for their entire life, that if they just start dating the right person then everything will be great.  Our lives can become defined by our relationship. The funny thing about this is that we spend so much time focusing on the other person that we forget about the other half of the relationship, ourselves. We will talk about what to look for in another person next week, but this week we want our students to realize that they can take control of their future now.  We want our students to stop looking for Mr. or Ms. Right and start becoming the right person themselves.

We want our students to embrace the qualities found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 in all of their relationships. Whether it is with the friends, siblings, or you, we want our students to start putting these principles into practice, and their is no better example than you. We want to challenge our parents to embrace the qualities of 1 Corinthians 13 in your own life. We want to set our students up for a life of great relationships and ultimate great marriage, and it starts now.

Talk to your student about the quality in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 that is the most difficult for you.  Ask your student if they would want their future (or current) significant other to embrace these qualities, and if that means they should start embracing them too.

Illuminate: Parent Cue

Parents, as we move closer to Easter we want to create conversation points for you and your student. Here is some information about what we are doing in Transit, and how you can create conversations with your student.

1. Be a Student of What They are Learning

We’ve read the story year after year. We know that Jesus was crucified, placed in a tomb and resurrected on the third day. And this is important! But when we take a look at the bigger picture of Scripture we see themes and images that come up again and again to shed even more light on the significance of the Easter account. Just like reading a good book or watching a gripping movie, we understand that the author is trying to turn our attention to something greater than the story itself. Over the course of this series, we look at a few key themes in Scripture—Bread, Water and Blood—to help weave together the greater story of God’s love for us. To take the power of the Easter story and allow it to shine in those places where we need provision, security and redemption.

2. Be a Student of Your Student

Over the course of this series, we have talked about the idea of themes; those things that come up again and again, whether in a good book or movie or even just in our day-to-day lives. And as we’ve learned, certain words or themes within particular stories in the Bible can trigger something that might remind us of another story, showing us how God’s Big Story connects, especially as it relates to the Easter story. But these themes occur in our everyday lives as well.

We as parents experience things that trigger us to know when our teens are happy or excited about something—and when they are anything but! Our students notice our triggers as well. Your student probably knows that when you pick them up from school late, slam the door when you come home from work or forget to check on them after their set curfew, that something is up.

And these triggers, these cues, are definitely something to look for in our teenagers. Especially for those middle school and early high school students who are still in a world of “egocentric abstraction,” which means that they may be trying on multiple personalities to figure out just who they are. And these triggers give us a clue into how these different sides of our students come together as they try to figure out who they are. And while this may be scary for us and seem like anything but normal, it is really just a natural part of their process of defining who they are—of shaping their identity. But does this mean that we just give them complete space to figure it out on their own during these very complicated years? No, it means we listen. And sometimes, the best way to listen to a teenager—no matter what age—is as much about hearing what they say as it is about hearing what they don’t. So, we want to provide an opportunity for you to sit down with your student and talk about some of these triggers, first allowing them to give you a glimpse into the things that clue them into your mood and next, having a dialogue about the things they do that tell you about how they are feeling.

3. Action Point

As you and your student sit down, remember to keep this conversation light. This isn’t a time to start probing into your student’s life to look for deep, dark secrets. Rather, it’s a chance to connect in a mutual way and start a conversation about the way that we often communicate how we feel without saying a word. It’s a chance to create empathy, both from you to your student and from your student back to you. So, as you answer the questions below, allow your student space to be honest and practice listening to what they are saying with their words, as you both figure out what you say from day-to-day without using words at all.

Questions from Parent to Student: 

• What are some things I do that tell you that I’m in the following mood: Rested, Content, Stressed Out, Enthusiastic and Agitated?
• What do you usually do when you sense that I am stressed out or agitated? How about when you sense that I am rested and content?
• What is a word or a phrase that we can come up with for you to say to me when you are picking up on one of my negative triggers that worries you or makes you upset and you want to be able to talk about it?

Questions from Student to Parent:

• What are some things I do that make you think I am sad, overwhelmed or upset? (For the Student to Answer: Are the triggers that your parent or guardian noticed pretty accurate? Do you feel like they are picking up on what you do when you are sad or upset?)
• How do you know when I am happy and everything is going well?
• What is a word or phrase that we can come up with for you to say to me when you are picking up one of my negative triggers and want to be able to talk about it?

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org. 

Illuminate

Series Overview

We read the story of the crucifixion of Jesus every year.  Many of us can probably tell the story without even having to look it up.  This is a great thing. However, we often forget that the story of Easter is part of a much larger story.  Over the next three weeks, we are going to look at a some key themes found in the Easter story, and throughout the Scriptures. We want to show how the themes of bread, water, and blood are woven throughout all of Scripture so that their use in the Easter story brings the story a greater significance.  The Easter story should not just be limited to a few weeks in early Spring, but a continual reminder of our need for God’s provision, presence, and redemption.

Session 1 (March 18, 2012)

Bread is a popular topic in church. Whether it is during communion or even the Lord’s Prayer, bread is mentioned. The question we often fail to ask is why. What is the deal with bread?  Why does it keep showing up in the Bible?  To ancient Israel, bread was a sign of the provision of God as God literally provided their food in the desert.  As Jesus preached he used bread to remind his audience of God’s provision, and their need to be dependent on God both physically and spiritually. But now, bread is a representation of Jesus himself.  Jesus is our provider, and all we need to sustain life. Talk to your student about a time in your life where you needed the provision of God. Ask your student how they can be more dependent on God.

Session 2 (March 25, 2012)

Life can be overwhelming at times. There are some times when it is everything that we can do to just keep our head above water.  This is not a unique situation to us. Many people found in the Scriptures faced similar problems, even Jesus as he endured the cross.  While these situations are difficult, God does not want us to endure them alone. He is present with us. The Easter story illustrates this very principle as Jesus triumphs over death so that we can find hope in the presence of God.  Life can get difficult, but we are never alone. Talk to your student about when you have felt the presence of God in a difficult circumstance, and ask them if they have ever experience God’s presence in their life.

Session 3 (April 1, 2012)

If you are like me then the sight of blood can make you a little queasy.  While blood may be prevalent on television, in movies, or even video games, it is one of the most important themes in the Bible, particular in the Easter story. As Christians we often talk about “the blood,” but why is it so important and what does it represent? As we conclude our study of the story of Easter we want our students to know why the symbol of blood is so important for the Church, and to understand that blood is our symbol of a limitless love coming from a limitless God. Talk to your student about the death of Christ, and why Christ’s blood allows us to have access to God. Ask your student why the death of Christ is important to them.